Farmers Weekly Review

By Nick Reiher

For one reason or another, Christmas almost always has been stressful for me.

There the whole, “Ya Gotta Be Good” warnings from Christmas songs. I mean, “He sees you when your sleeping; he knows when you’re awake.” Yeesh.

From Thanksgiving to Christmas, my parents had that additional threat to keep me on the straight and narrow. To be fair, it didn’t always work. Sometimes the stress of the season and my greed evoked wails of wanting a gift NOW!

Often, it didn’t work. When it did, I realized I felt even worse I had acted like that.

So great was my desire to snoop, I devised a way to get into the downstairs room where my Gramma and parents kept all the gifts. I knew where Gramma kept the key to the room. I got it, once or twice when she was out, and I got into the room.

The only thing I remember seeing for sure was a Magnus organ. The one with the numbers. The one that sounded like an asthmatic when you turned it on.

One day, I got lazy. I didn’t want to break into Gramma’s side stand one more time for the key. I reasoned I could use a piece of uncooked pasta instead. I had to come clean about my capers when I couldn’t get the broken piece of pasta out of the keyhole.

Luckily, they could, and I still received my ill-viewed booty on Christmas morning. Probably because it would have been too much trouble to return all of it.

Then, there were the grade school Christmas programs, with each grade presenting a different song. “Alley cats howling,” as my Mom charitably called it.

One year, our class song was “Little Drummer Boy.” You might find this hard to believe, but the nuns drummed that tune into our heads every … single … day until there were absolutely no snafus.

There weren’t, when it was our time to perform. But, and you can ask my family, until very recently, I would change the station, or cringe if I couldn’t, when that song came on during the Christmas season. Obviously, it came on a lot. I’m over it now. Honest.

Also, you might not believe this, but from about age 3 until 18 or so, I was horribly, neurotically shy. I loathed being the center of attention, and I did what I could to stay out of it.

There was the time I was pretty sure I got traded to another Den Mother as a Cub Scout when I balked at dressing as “Horse” during a “Dudley Do-Right” skit for a holiday program.

Before that, she wanted me to dress up as “Nell,” with lipstick and everything. Oh, hell, no. If my brother Gordon saw that … Oh, hell, no.

So, when one of my favorite nuns of all time, and I mean that, put me on the spot, the neuroses kicked into overdrive.

In first grade, our song for the aforementioned Christmas program was “Up on the Housetop.” Reindeer, all that. And when it came time to cast St. Nick, Sister Eileen looked at me and said excitedly, “Nicholas!”

I was “sick” that entire week of the program. Why take a chance?

When we are no longer children, we rid ourselves of childish things. The stressors are much different now, but they still are there for many of us.

As you will read on the front page of today’s paper, Peace Lutheran Church in New Lenox again will host a “Longest Night” service on December 21. It is a time of reflection and peace, and knowing you are not alone in feeling stress and grief during the holiday season.

I have mentioned in a previous column that my church, Faith Lutheran on Midland in Joliet, will be hosting a similar service at 7 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 19.

All are welcome. No matter your stress level or cause.

Nick Reiher is editor of Farmers Weekly Review.